Ponder upon what he has told me : what I want is totally different with what I need.

^ what matter ^

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery


Once, I always think that love is easy to come and go. That I could heal as fast as I could (God willing). As a matter of fact, love isn't easy to go. No matter how much effort is put to chase away the love, it stays. Longer than expected. Looking back those years, I miss the good moments. Although currently we have different directions, I am not leaving the memory behind, I keep it for the sake of I cherish those PERFECT moments.



To be loved and love someone is culturally nature in any human. Couple and spouses always show the passion, the love that grow faster days by days. If it deteriorated, it will changed into hatred or love in form of 'dendam'. Yet, I don't believe in this kind of love, What is it for? It fails you as good human being. It destroy the happiness awaiting for you.

Is it true that if we are NOT in the same direction, now we lost? No we are not. I am not. I keep myself clear that my direction is similar as the RAINBOW...Colourful and I may happy at some time, I may fall down at any moment. I am the King of my direction. I am my direction. I lead to the better way. No matter how I am tore apart, I still know where I am going. I may PICK you up along the journey...if only you stay for the lifetime...I further my journey with YOU...

mengong~

awat la cheq bbrp hari ni cm x bgus mood je.rasa nak nanes je.marka da la xda. tp xpa, ada marka pon wat saket hati watpa. ish, x suka la perasaan ni. is it related to pms.maka cepat2la habis. rndu sgt2 nk menadah tangan kt dia. rndu nk bca ayat2 yg menggembirakan dan menenangkan. cheq rasa nk teriak ja masa ni....cheq rasa lemah sgt....cheq kena kuat.kena bersemangat! tp cheq cm da ilang smgt. mcmn la cheq nk hadapi saat2 as'ment bertimpa-timpa nnt.......cheq cuba la hadapi stress yg melanda ni dgn baik.cheq kan TOUGH. insya-Allah, semoga urusan cheq dipermudahkan.amin

I talk crap@_@#*)^%)

I am serious about me, talking crap. I haven't actually know how to write. I am blunt. I am straight forward. I can't keep secret. So negatively uttered.

I am sometimes so pessimist kind of person. Always have inferiority complex, to the extent that I couldn't perform at my best when I believe that I can soar above the sky.

The personal matters and unresolved issues, all mixed up and make me frail and weaker.
I admit I am not that strong. Although appearing as 'tough' in various aspects, well am not 100%. I am just an ordinary. SUPER DUPER ordinary. Standing like this, I am a bit relief. judge me! judge me! I am no NOTHING.I am SUPER DUPER ordinary human being on earth.

Listening to...

Shouldn't have walked away
I would have stayed if you said
We could have made everything okay
But we just
Threw the blame back and forth
We treated love like a sport
The final blow hit so low
I�m still on the ground

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor
Supernatural love conquers all
Remember we used to touch the sky

And lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I
Said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
But we let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

Come on babe can our love be revived?
Bring it back and we gona make it right
I'm on the edge just trying to survive
As the angels cry

Limitless omnipresent kind of love
Couldn't have guessed it
Would just stop
And disappear in a whirlwind
Here I am walking on this narrow road
Wobbling but won't let go
Waiting for a glimpse of the sun's glow

I know I can stand just pull me back up
But there ain't a hurricane it's just us
I'm willing to live and die for our love
Baby we can get back that shine

Cause lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I
Said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
'Cause true love's a gift
But we let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

Come on babe can our love be revived?
Bring it back and we gona make it right
I'm on the edge just trying to survive
As the angels cry

Baby I'm missing you
Don't allow our love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Baby I'm missing you
Don't allow our love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
You and I
Said goodbye
Felt the angels cry
'Cause true love's a gift
We let it slip
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry


I am touched by this song, ANGELS CRY. as I have the same kind of feeling, deep and frustrated but HOPE. there is hope that I don't know why hang me up there. no matter how I want to forget, I'll remember single piece of puzzle completing the memory. Hard. But I have to let go. He is not the one that would be my MR. Right. He would rather care about himself, self-centered as he always be. I always recollect the memory and I am the only one who CARE.

should I blew the candle? should I pour petrol? should I just sit and watch where the light goes. With little hope and prayers.