hols mood~

yeah2, holiday!...a-week holiday
i am free
free from going to morning classes
free from Shakespearean class (no sonnet, no biblio of him, no non-stop talking of 'her')
also
free from the coldness of INTEC lib
free from the state where i gotta think what to eat, whats the next class

BUT
i am not free from assignment
SLA tutorial happens to be every week
I gotta finish it up b4 wednesday
i dun even bring textbook
haiyak, haiyak

holiday supposed to be holiday
where i can sleep and 'hybernate' and wake up at any hour
damnation
i dont really have my one week holiday

poor zick!

pleasurable moment

kenapa begitu frequent aku mengampai d cni huh?
well...bila xbnyk kita dpt luahkn kt org skeliling kita, kita tend utk menulis, mengamati, self-absorbed...
kita seringkali salahkan org, salahkn diri, salahkn sapa2 yg kdg2 x bkaitan,
dan
hakikatnya...
menulis adlh utk kpuasan diri.titik

act, i hv a very BEST meal of the year td.
perasaan itu mgalahkn dating kali pertama.
btol2 aku hepi sgt, puas sgt.
instant mee, thanx for the companion.
bf aku pon x pena wat aku hepi cmne
instant mee is the best companion
when u know u do NOTHING yet for ur take home test
when u have friends that craving for secret recipe n ur not
when u wake up from nap n u are really, really, damn hungry

again,
instant mee, i love ur companion
so memorable..unforgettable

hepinya.leganya.

am speechless, the laughter, the 'ops', the secret, the choc indulgence. the cendol. oh, the moment. the everything.thanx so much.i feel so hepi~ thanx 2 u my dear friend. at last.at last.aku tdo lena la ni. mesti tdo lena mlm ni.

am fully recharged.so xnk dh down.nk hepi2 je tomorrow. Thanx to Almighty because has rekindled us. please dun take her away. not now.not, never, please.never again.

i need this friend of mine, til death do us part.

p/s i love u babe (in a +ve way of course) hehe

independent thinking huh~

sometimes i find myself in the middle of nowhere...but it doesnt mean that am not exist..i am there, in front of everybody, but making myself invisible...making people having NO heart to care about me...as if i have NONE business to do wif everybody... weird huh?

maybe the life that i live on is totally different. doesnt mean that am SO special, but who u r to expect me putting smile on my face all the time when i have so many, many disastrous events in my life? grateful i am, for everything that make me stronger and maturer...the thing is, people cant see the world through my lens...

the reason why i am so different( in my humble opinion) is bcause the culture, the background i gained al through 23 years...ahax, i am mixed...between east borneo and north peninsular. i am mixed, pattani, jawa and pure malay. i am mixed, between a kind-hearted person and rebellious one...thanx to Laksamana Bentan for his blood...hahaha...

why, why on earth iv been thinking like this.i know my ego would never let go all of the miserable feelings to throw out here, where this beautiful place should be the spot where im supposed to stand for myself, be optimistic of my world around...

crap, again
and today i found out that the manly or boyish characteristic is still with me...i thought i have become a proper lady, with a proper behavior these days...but this particular unlucky guy has triggered something in me that iv neve ever feel in 2-3 years time...omg, i rly wanna punch his head and back kick him &*%...'memajal' btol ini org...dui dogok...

wo, haziqah...what have u done? what do u have in mind?
"well, just being frank"
esok, forgive everyone p/s to the person concerned, i am sorry for the shock i gave

now, here to stop writing. time to have shower, maghrib time is so close...

embun di pagi buta

today i am so liat nk bgun...WHY?
there are no kakak atul n kakak khai at 508( cpt2 la balik, miss u guys oredi)
n so thimpit prasaan with so many assignments to do...

so, as usual, bgun pagi2, must forgive everyone...yes...no one excluded.tgk to do list, pick up the simpler one to do this early morning n do it fast...Q2 tutorial mz zaina, oyeah! DONE

skang nk gv reward to myself, mngadap screen laptop n write something...

act, my stomach so saket that it is a sign of am so hungry, so pedih perut bt sadly am so malas to bgun n bancuh kopi/milo or any drink that can mengenyangkn my perut..(ish2, tragiknya bahasa)

so, aku dok senyap2, menulis lagi

angin pusar tak bikin aku jatuh
malah aku bjalan keras
tujui hala aku mau
bukan cinta atau saat bahagia
tapi saat lalu mengetuk pintu
saat jatuh pula menggamit rasa
di mana aku dan kuatku
di mana hati dan mindaku
raja dan permaisuriku
kini di petak catur bergabung tenaga
mau banteras satu
ego dan keakuanku
nah, aku tidak jatuh
angin pusar tak bikin aku jatuh...

crap! crap! crap!

so skang wana do my laundry, n menyambung other to do things yg masih tertunggak menanti tok disiapkn...

tired.long day

i always have this prob inside my head.dun wanna impress others, instead, being biasa2 jak...bcoz for me, the point of impressing others is close to riak(m'bangga')..wo, dalam2, pedih2...is that true?
however, does 'it'(not impressing lecturer per se) affects our marks and performance in the class??thats the deal...aduss2
so, yesterday is very, very tired day for me..it was the first presentation of the year, of the semester...dun wanna comment on how i did it...BUT

the
conclusion
is

gotta impress the lecturer...gotta zick!

Work, Work, Work..go away!

Td ptg g tgk Outlander kt pyramid...bez la jg.. kpenatan, arrive home at 6, decide wanna do Sonnet 23 for Shakespeare class so...here it is (at least, it has been decided=))
SONNET 23
As an unperfect actor on the stage
Who with his fear is put besides his part,
Or some fierce thing replete with too much rage,
Whose strength's abundance weakens his own heart.
So I, for fear of trust, forget to say
The perfect ceremony of love's rite,
And in mine own love's strength seem to decay,
O'ercharged with burden of mine own love's might.
O, let my books be then the eloquence
And dumb presagers of my speaking breast,
Who plead for love and look for recompense
More than that tongue that more hath more express'd.
O, learn to read what silent love hath writ:
To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit.

seminggu ber"dua kosong kosong sembilan"

i am so proud of myself that i could save 'cukup-cukup makan' percent of myself to start the brand new me...or literally to be just whole me

wow, he's married...it was last year, but not even reach a month though...da, like i do rly care(well, act i did) but im ok, yeah...i knw am OK...let bygone, be bygone...hidup mesti tros ma!

back to basic, with continuously heavy assignments, tiring lectures, unstoppable presentations, critical lesson plan bla bla bla...x sgka nex sem dh nk practicum..BERSEDIAKAH aku?berat soklan ne..haha

apa2pon, dlm sminggu ne, aku rasa...

1) aku nk mnta maaf kt smua org...anyone..sapa2 yg tbaca...am SORRY for everything...

2)aku nk blaja maafkn smua org.xnk bdendam wlau dendam yg damai.aku nk rasa nikmat tenang, xnk pk pasal trivia...(so mmg pd sapa2, xkira la salah apa, aku maafkn tmasukla yg pena cucuk paku kt mata aku time kecik2 dlu)

3) aku nk blaja jadi cikgu yg aku kagum...not by imitating her but learn from her style of teaching, not only from her but i want 2 learn from my mistakes, n opcoz my own mistake is also my teacher...

4)read a lot, n a lot...(have to)...kurang sgt aku membaca these few years..apo nk jadi zick??

so, aku rasa...lebaran tahun baru(cewah) ne akan mbawa pelangi kembali kpd aku...atau pendek citernya..akan wat aku bahagia dan dpt bahagiakan smua org...

insya-Allah