A letter to him

Dear Mr. X,

I am writing to you to ask you about few things.

First, where have you been when I need you the most?

Second, when will be the time WE go traveling around the world?

Third, I am so nervous to meet you, are you ready to accept me for who I am and never change the way I am?

Mr. X,

You, You exist on this effing earth. You are not perfect. You are a normal guy just like the men that I've ever known before. I believe you will have difficulty to understand girl me and my wants. Surely, it is hard to accept a clumsy girl like me. LIKE ME. Drop things, always and always. It is for sure that I can make you ashamed when you are with me. Watch this out. I have the characteristic of Joyah too. Sometimes, I can talk non-stop and for some time I can be strangely quiet. Can be serious and boring too (influence by the so called PMS). I am not a clown that can cheer you up all the time. You need to remember this. Never ever yell at me or else I'll cry like hell.

Dearest Mr. X,

You need to know that I am going to marry you not because you are perfect. Because you always want to improve yourself. So, work hard  smart to increase the amount of your salary. There should be no words like jobless or got fired. You are the HEAD and act like one. Yes, you are the leader but do walk besides me. I am here to correct you, to ease you or to protect you from a lot of harm. Every succesful man has a lady to support him, not FEW ladies to support him. Anyhow, I always need you to be around and comfort me. You are my world, and you should at least try understand me. You are part of me, so do not get apart from me.

I'll continue writing to you later. Lastly, our relationship is based on I need you to UNDERSTAND me, and you need me to RESPECT you. We should work it out. Till then, I will always love you now, tomorrow and ever after (the day I'll close my eyes).

Kerdil

Hari ini aku diserang virus flu. Ntah dapat dari mana. 3 in 1. Super Combo. Headache, running nose, watery eyes, cough bla bla bla. Sungguh rasa tak sopan mengajar dalam keadaan yang serba tak selesa ini. Apalagi kena guna chalk. Tapi, saya berjaya bertahan sampai waktu assembly. Syukur, alhamdulillah. Tapi, rasa sakit dan pedih ini mungkin juga ditambah rasa rindu dan rasa tak cukup forum bila anis dan kak wan tidak lagi bersama-sama 'bercinta' dengan budak-budak tu.

Esok saya doa/harap sangat-sangat sakit ini beransur pergi bak angin menderu. Bukan sebab tak tahan azab sakit tapi.....Reason 1: tak mampu nak pergi klinik swasta untuk amek MC n medicine, xmampu(apparently dengan gaji yang belum keluar selama 3bulan berkhidmat ni...broke time study dulu pon tak se'payah' ini) Reason 2: Tak tahu jalan nak ke Klinik Bakar Arang..(walau da 3bulan bermastautin di bumi bertuah SP ni, saya masih tidak biasa dengan jalan-jalan kecuali jalan-jalan utama)

Harap esok saya sembuh. Amin Ya Rahim.

Sama

Akhir-akhir ini, hidup sangat bosan, sangat sibuk. hidup hanya dengan melakukan perkara yang sama tiap hari. "ALWAYS" adalah perkara yang berlaku setiap kali. saya sudah berada di zone selesa di mana saya tidak lagi mencuba pekara-perkara baru. Amat membimbangkan. I am not at ease. Situasi yang tidak patut berlaku pada seorang novice teacher. Novice teacher ataupun guru permulaan merupakan gelaran saya. Penyapu baru pula antara gelaran yang saya raih(diberi oleh seorang senior). Bangga? Oh tidak. saya punya pelbagai tanggungjawab untuk dilaksanakan. baik sekarang, nanti atau akan datang. semuanya sudah diatur rapi. "U r no longer the baby!" Gembira dapat junior 2bulan tapi hati kecil saya tetap yakin yang saya memikul setong/ seunit tan/ berbonggol-bonggol tanggungjawab yang saya sendiri tak dapt bayangkan. ini merupakan cabaran, halangan kepada usaha ataupun keyakinan seorang kerdil yang baru menapak dalam profesion serba menduga ini. Saya dah tak larat nak memikirkan bila la nak siap laporan orientasi ni, tak larat nak fikir bilakah saya dapat menanda semua kerta esei pelajar-pelajar saya yang bertimbun tu. The same things happen. Bola tu cuma berpusing-pusing pada tempat yang sama. Cuba la disepak ke tempat baru sekali sekala. Sama. Mengeluh lagi.

H.A.P.P.Y

We tend to make others happy in order to stay happy

We tend to get near people who are happy so we do not feel alone and sad

We yearn for happiness (not frustration or sadness)

We live life and certainly would like to be happy ever after (sometimes it last temporarily)

Happy is a big issue easy reload

Happy is the resolution for everyone

(Happy to be slimmer, happy to be better in career, happy to achieve the dream)

Though, for some people they need to live separately in order to gain happiness

They need to be apart to love and beloved

They need to keep mum makan hati to let him/her smile

Apparently, we are on our sweats when we lose the happiness

Realizing happiness sometimes/always needs sacrifice

It’s easy for some people, it’s almost impossible for some others

For whatever reason for us to live, we yearn for satisfaction and happiness

Do smile and let others be happy. Cheer up and cheer the people around you. You’ll be happy then, for sure.

^_______^