Have a bad day

Everyone got talent. Everyone has flaws.  Everyone could do anything if they try and put their heart to  it. Today, I failed. I thought I can almost do everything. did not know I could not perform this job until the time has arrived. Oh, no. Bikin malu. A 24 years old girl did not know how to use a TYPEWRITER. It is not that ancient. I used to type using it when I was 14. But, I totally forgot how to function it. I am lost. Luckily I got Pn. Aw, Mr. Vela and Mr.Zahari. They were so nice and helpful. A pile of works have done today. I feel relief though tertinggal kegembiraan hari ini.Tinggal sehari lagi sebelum cuti akhir tahun bermula. Yeay, I love holidays. I love to travel, I love to bersukaria dgn kluarga terchenta....Can't wait.

A letter to him

Dear Mr. X,

I am writing to you to ask you about few things.

First, where have you been when I need you the most?

Second, when will be the time WE go traveling around the world?

Third, I am so nervous to meet you, are you ready to accept me for who I am and never change the way I am?

Mr. X,

You, You exist on this effing earth. You are not perfect. You are a normal guy just like the men that I've ever known before. I believe you will have difficulty to understand girl me and my wants. Surely, it is hard to accept a clumsy girl like me. LIKE ME. Drop things, always and always. It is for sure that I can make you ashamed when you are with me. Watch this out. I have the characteristic of Joyah too. Sometimes, I can talk non-stop and for some time I can be strangely quiet. Can be serious and boring too (influence by the so called PMS). I am not a clown that can cheer you up all the time. You need to remember this. Never ever yell at me or else I'll cry like hell.

Dearest Mr. X,

You need to know that I am going to marry you not because you are perfect. Because you always want to improve yourself. So, work hard  smart to increase the amount of your salary. There should be no words like jobless or got fired. You are the HEAD and act like one. Yes, you are the leader but do walk besides me. I am here to correct you, to ease you or to protect you from a lot of harm. Every succesful man has a lady to support him, not FEW ladies to support him. Anyhow, I always need you to be around and comfort me. You are my world, and you should at least try understand me. You are part of me, so do not get apart from me.

I'll continue writing to you later. Lastly, our relationship is based on I need you to UNDERSTAND me, and you need me to RESPECT you. We should work it out. Till then, I will always love you now, tomorrow and ever after (the day I'll close my eyes).

Kerdil

Hari ini aku diserang virus flu. Ntah dapat dari mana. 3 in 1. Super Combo. Headache, running nose, watery eyes, cough bla bla bla. Sungguh rasa tak sopan mengajar dalam keadaan yang serba tak selesa ini. Apalagi kena guna chalk. Tapi, saya berjaya bertahan sampai waktu assembly. Syukur, alhamdulillah. Tapi, rasa sakit dan pedih ini mungkin juga ditambah rasa rindu dan rasa tak cukup forum bila anis dan kak wan tidak lagi bersama-sama 'bercinta' dengan budak-budak tu.

Esok saya doa/harap sangat-sangat sakit ini beransur pergi bak angin menderu. Bukan sebab tak tahan azab sakit tapi.....Reason 1: tak mampu nak pergi klinik swasta untuk amek MC n medicine, xmampu(apparently dengan gaji yang belum keluar selama 3bulan berkhidmat ni...broke time study dulu pon tak se'payah' ini) Reason 2: Tak tahu jalan nak ke Klinik Bakar Arang..(walau da 3bulan bermastautin di bumi bertuah SP ni, saya masih tidak biasa dengan jalan-jalan kecuali jalan-jalan utama)

Harap esok saya sembuh. Amin Ya Rahim.

Sama

Akhir-akhir ini, hidup sangat bosan, sangat sibuk. hidup hanya dengan melakukan perkara yang sama tiap hari. "ALWAYS" adalah perkara yang berlaku setiap kali. saya sudah berada di zone selesa di mana saya tidak lagi mencuba pekara-perkara baru. Amat membimbangkan. I am not at ease. Situasi yang tidak patut berlaku pada seorang novice teacher. Novice teacher ataupun guru permulaan merupakan gelaran saya. Penyapu baru pula antara gelaran yang saya raih(diberi oleh seorang senior). Bangga? Oh tidak. saya punya pelbagai tanggungjawab untuk dilaksanakan. baik sekarang, nanti atau akan datang. semuanya sudah diatur rapi. "U r no longer the baby!" Gembira dapat junior 2bulan tapi hati kecil saya tetap yakin yang saya memikul setong/ seunit tan/ berbonggol-bonggol tanggungjawab yang saya sendiri tak dapt bayangkan. ini merupakan cabaran, halangan kepada usaha ataupun keyakinan seorang kerdil yang baru menapak dalam profesion serba menduga ini. Saya dah tak larat nak memikirkan bila la nak siap laporan orientasi ni, tak larat nak fikir bilakah saya dapat menanda semua kerta esei pelajar-pelajar saya yang bertimbun tu. The same things happen. Bola tu cuma berpusing-pusing pada tempat yang sama. Cuba la disepak ke tempat baru sekali sekala. Sama. Mengeluh lagi.

H.A.P.P.Y

We tend to make others happy in order to stay happy

We tend to get near people who are happy so we do not feel alone and sad

We yearn for happiness (not frustration or sadness)

We live life and certainly would like to be happy ever after (sometimes it last temporarily)

Happy is a big issue easy reload

Happy is the resolution for everyone

(Happy to be slimmer, happy to be better in career, happy to achieve the dream)

Though, for some people they need to live separately in order to gain happiness

They need to be apart to love and beloved

They need to keep mum makan hati to let him/her smile

Apparently, we are on our sweats when we lose the happiness

Realizing happiness sometimes/always needs sacrifice

It’s easy for some people, it’s almost impossible for some others

For whatever reason for us to live, we yearn for satisfaction and happiness

Do smile and let others be happy. Cheer up and cheer the people around you. You’ll be happy then, for sure.

^_______^

indifferent and different is no different

These few weeks, I've spent my life differently. I am different person, I can feel it. I've grown mentally to understand that life is never easy. It is a core business for everyone. To live means that we need satisfaction, food, shelter, clothes and perhaps CONVENIENCE. Convenience comes with a price. Means we need to give something in order to gain CONVENIENCE in return. Speaking of CONVENIENCE, I can smell none essence of it. I am not capable to reach it. Why? Is it because I live in an unfair world? Or am I meant to be an always unskilled gambler? I understand that it is nothing to do with how far I give in. It is how far I count my blessings and wait patiently. Understand this still makes me wonder, WHEN, WHEN, WHEN...convenience will come to me and lit the light?


Oh.oh my official first 5 classes. I would like to tell you the cup is not empty yet. You can't predict me. Yes you can judge me. A month has passed and I am still here. No, am not replacing the old teacher. Am the new one. The beginning and the amateur. The fresh blood to you. I am you. I am proud of myself that today I have none complaints about you. You are my inspirations, my experiments, my everything that trigger me to break my leg, to smile, to hate, to love, to cry, to encounter various emotions and to the extend that makes me hit my head on the wall. I do love you, my children. All the shit and the sweet things you do are welcomed and highly appreciated. It makes us to be closer and closer in that sense.


Complaints? Again and again? Love fails me again? Do I really need love from man? He(s) is from other planet. How should I long for an alien? How should I? Complicated and leave it to God? I should solve something. I should fix something. Repairing heart is never an easy job. It took 2 years to heal and again, it was broken, easily. EASY. This is not an easy reload. This is a bloody heart. My heart. I need to fix it. Hate and revenge cannot fix heart. They do ruin most of the time. Pretending like nothing happened hurts me more. Addiction to this kind of love is unwanted and a waste. If I can remove it.... If I can just put gum to fix those pieces of heart to feel like I am seventeen. Again. I'd love to.


I am very close to add number to my precious age. It is in coming. I should find fresh water, trees, soil, air, ocean and any natural sense to comfort me. I feel better that way. I need to yell, to scream hysterically. I am not a young girl anymore. "Act like a woman, please!" I need to be there; near beach and watch sunset. It is a new hope. It is the day that I wish I can appreciate myself more. I neglect my needs, my desire for too long. Now is payback time. I want to TRAVEL. My dreams should come true.

Tak mungkin kerna sayang.

Tersengih sendiri malah tersenyum lagi. Mentari hadir lagi membawa bayu serta sinar yang menyeri. Cuma aku di sini. Bermain sama bayang-bayang. Pendek. Panjang. Senget. Lurus. Aku. Itu aku. Sepi itu selalu juga aku. Cuma bahagia tiba tak terjangka. Sekejap tapi cukup buat aku tersenyum kala sendiri. Langkah yang sering tersasar ini sering mengganggu aku.Mengingatkan ‘footprints’ yg sudah hilang kesannya. Mengapa? Mengapa sekarang? Menanti itu suatu penyeksaan. Nah, aku tersenyum lg dgn bayang-bayang sendiri. Cuma aku. Dan bayang-bayang. Titik.

friends, needless to say goodbye

we'll meet again.

we'll talk again.

we'll sit together again.

we'll laugh together again.

we'll fight, cry and rekindle,

we'll started all over again.(in a dream)

i hope it is.

i hope we have another semester and i have to come over Sabah.

But it is only hope.(we have finished, that's it)

I believe ONE day I have the chance to meet you, to hug you, to talk to you,to erase this pain,it is unbearable I cannot tolerate with.

See you soon. Friends, I do miss you.

Hello...anyone out there?

Anyone who has found my wallet? My F. Timber wallet...Please, please keep it for a while. Thanks because you do inform me. Terima kasih sangat2. Sorry, I cannot online often. Can you, please contact my phone number, 013-2969657 / 0172112959
Can you contact me soon! Thank you very much.

Tuhan, hilangkan kesedihanku~

Semoga arwah dirahmati di dunia sana.

I love you mak…love you so much.

My hero....Tsk..Tsk

http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1269766107171RA69

Go Away Negative Energy, shuh shuh!

Negative energy attracts negative events and situations.

Positive energy attracts positive events and situations.

Your energy is based on your thoughts and beliefs.

If you find that you're getting exactly what you don't want
or

you're not getting what you want

then you're simply sending out the negative energy.

People are not consciously aware of your energy but they just
develop a feeling about you
based on your energy.

If you constantly think of the worst, if you find that you're

always negative, if you don't believe that you can ever achieve

anything, if you don't believe that anybody can be good, if you

constantly complain, if you always see the worst in situations,

if you regularly put others down,

if you're just a -ve person

you will develop negative energy and in the end you'll only attract

more negative situations into your life.

Being negative is really a no win situation.

So?

Focus on positive situations.

Look for solutions instead of complaining.

Be more understanding .

Embrace changes.

my 1/2

ME

untitled

Truly an eternal love ~

An enlightening video from which men & women should inspire themselves! May Allah (SWT) bless the Prophet Muhammad SAW...

Hope all muslim can follow his sunnah and become true khalifah in the family.



Hope that I can be a good wife like Siti Khadijah and has a very good spouse who practise sunnah of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W.amin!

~ sweet ~

sukaaaa sangaaat lagu ni!!!

~ Love does....produce wonders ~

When U have NOTHING to fall back on,
LOVE BECOMES the savior,
WHen U have NONSENSE things to say,
LOVE speaks and yeah, it makes sense to you,
LOVE has the magic,
LOVE gives us power,
to live, to bravely face the misery.
Walking through the darkness and hold the light,
it makes us tougher, then feel better,
happier,
No, nothing can stop US,
Sinking together,
Swimming
Sinking again,
Again and again,
Alas and alack,
Smiles,
TOTAL AND REAL HAPPINESS produced by L.O.V.E.

I love you,
LOVE

^ ishq ^

You are my raft in the rapids of life
You are my peace in the midst of strife
You are the shore to a shipwrecked soul
You are the bridge to a lifelong goal
You are the finish of an olympic run
You are the shine when there is no sun
You are a rope when I start to fall...

- Brett Coulter -

I hope you can make a PERFECT 'we'...

Jinakkan AKU :Perempuan...

AKAL SETIPIS RAMBUTNYA, TEBALKAN DENGAN ILMU, HATI SERAPUH KACA, KUATKAN DENGAN IMAN, PERASAAN SELEMBUT SUTERA, HIASILAH DENGAN AKHLAK .

^ i feel sorry ^

i felt guilty,
of being the reason,
putting u there,
in a dangerous zone.

i felt bad,
when i heard you scream like hell,
asking for help,
AND your mum was not around.

I hope you are doing good there~
I hope you could forgive me~
I hope you enter the heaven peacefully...

love,

dyradyana

... Google Search..lol

Hillarious!

~Redha~

Makin kita mendekatiNya,
Makin kita diuji...
Makin banyak doa,
Makin banyak ujian menimpa...
Kerana segala yang dipinta tak datang dengan segera...
Tapi ia akan diperolehi apabila kita berjaya mengharunginya...
Kerana Allah tak memberi apa yang kita mahu tapi Dia memberi apa ynag kita perlu..

Ponder upon what he has told me : what I want is totally different with what I need.

^ what matter ^

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery


Once, I always think that love is easy to come and go. That I could heal as fast as I could (God willing). As a matter of fact, love isn't easy to go. No matter how much effort is put to chase away the love, it stays. Longer than expected. Looking back those years, I miss the good moments. Although currently we have different directions, I am not leaving the memory behind, I keep it for the sake of I cherish those PERFECT moments.



To be loved and love someone is culturally nature in any human. Couple and spouses always show the passion, the love that grow faster days by days. If it deteriorated, it will changed into hatred or love in form of 'dendam'. Yet, I don't believe in this kind of love, What is it for? It fails you as good human being. It destroy the happiness awaiting for you.

Is it true that if we are NOT in the same direction, now we lost? No we are not. I am not. I keep myself clear that my direction is similar as the RAINBOW...Colourful and I may happy at some time, I may fall down at any moment. I am the King of my direction. I am my direction. I lead to the better way. No matter how I am tore apart, I still know where I am going. I may PICK you up along the journey...if only you stay for the lifetime...I further my journey with YOU...

mengong~

awat la cheq bbrp hari ni cm x bgus mood je.rasa nak nanes je.marka da la xda. tp xpa, ada marka pon wat saket hati watpa. ish, x suka la perasaan ni. is it related to pms.maka cepat2la habis. rndu sgt2 nk menadah tangan kt dia. rndu nk bca ayat2 yg menggembirakan dan menenangkan. cheq rasa nk teriak ja masa ni....cheq rasa lemah sgt....cheq kena kuat.kena bersemangat! tp cheq cm da ilang smgt. mcmn la cheq nk hadapi saat2 as'ment bertimpa-timpa nnt.......cheq cuba la hadapi stress yg melanda ni dgn baik.cheq kan TOUGH. insya-Allah, semoga urusan cheq dipermudahkan.amin

I talk crap@_@#*)^%)

I am serious about me, talking crap. I haven't actually know how to write. I am blunt. I am straight forward. I can't keep secret. So negatively uttered.

I am sometimes so pessimist kind of person. Always have inferiority complex, to the extent that I couldn't perform at my best when I believe that I can soar above the sky.

The personal matters and unresolved issues, all mixed up and make me frail and weaker.
I admit I am not that strong. Although appearing as 'tough' in various aspects, well am not 100%. I am just an ordinary. SUPER DUPER ordinary. Standing like this, I am a bit relief. judge me! judge me! I am no NOTHING.I am SUPER DUPER ordinary human being on earth.

Listening to...

Shouldn't have walked away
I would have stayed if you said
We could have made everything okay
But we just
Threw the blame back and forth
We treated love like a sport
The final blow hit so low
I�m still on the ground

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor
Supernatural love conquers all
Remember we used to touch the sky

And lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I
Said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
But we let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

Come on babe can our love be revived?
Bring it back and we gona make it right
I'm on the edge just trying to survive
As the angels cry

Limitless omnipresent kind of love
Couldn't have guessed it
Would just stop
And disappear in a whirlwind
Here I am walking on this narrow road
Wobbling but won't let go
Waiting for a glimpse of the sun's glow

I know I can stand just pull me back up
But there ain't a hurricane it's just us
I'm willing to live and die for our love
Baby we can get back that shine

Cause lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I
Said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
'Cause true love's a gift
But we let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

Come on babe can our love be revived?
Bring it back and we gona make it right
I'm on the edge just trying to survive
As the angels cry

Baby I'm missing you
Don't allow our love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Baby I'm missing you
Don't allow our love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
You and I
Said goodbye
Felt the angels cry
'Cause true love's a gift
We let it slip
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry


I am touched by this song, ANGELS CRY. as I have the same kind of feeling, deep and frustrated but HOPE. there is hope that I don't know why hang me up there. no matter how I want to forget, I'll remember single piece of puzzle completing the memory. Hard. But I have to let go. He is not the one that would be my MR. Right. He would rather care about himself, self-centered as he always be. I always recollect the memory and I am the only one who CARE.

should I blew the candle? should I pour petrol? should I just sit and watch where the light goes. With little hope and prayers.

Am reading this book...

till then

I L.O.V.E exam

who doesn't? Exam is when I got A's and I am so happy. Exam is when I can see the proud look on my parents' faces (long time ago....time kecik2). punya bangga .ngeee

For exam, we are tested, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. In fact, some might feel that we are at stake of life and death when we are facing exam.

I love exam, I love it when it can stop me from wandering and make me stay focus. I love it when I feel that it is the only moment that I can prove to my parents that I am doing good here that I am doing SOMETHING MEANINGFUL.

As for me, exam isn't that bad. I can smell my own SELF when I am about to sit for any exam. Wanting the best, pray hard, nervous, fever..all come into one. COMBO...

Well I am not the one who study earlier. I am overnight person. Procrastinator is my name. bikin malu. I am about to change. It is/was my ever resolution for years. Risky and bikin rosak otak because I need to cover many things in a short period of time. Yet, I can't deny that sometimes the MAGIC works. sometimes it COULD have killed me.

To make the magic works, is to believe in ourselves. With the desire to win YOU, always build trust in YOU. success will come like magnet stick with you ...no doubt!

petang yang damai~

hari ini aku corak petang dgn resolusi tahun baru yg aku harap akan tegar berjaya. percaya, atau tidak, atas aku.depan aku.tepi aku.yg penting dari aku. pasti boleh pasti mampu.cuma semangat itu janganlah hilang.janganlah ribut twister di tengahari.biarlah terik smpai ke petang. aku dah SEMANGKIT= semangat + bangkit.

rindu dan cinta, haruslah pergi.harus la ke sana. tinggalkan aku. sbb aku harap ampuh bdiri. tanpa kelibat, tanpa bayang-bayang. cuma diriku, jasadku berdiri di sini.

tinggalkan matahari. kiblatku bukan ke arahmu.

dua ribu sepuluh hadir pertama kali

my resolution for the year

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be a GOOD girl and never uncertain to help the people in need!

be a very GOOD daughter; sister; friend; student to THEM that i love!

always counting my blessing on my absolute BEAUTIFUL life and lessen regrets!

be healthier and richer! better days by days!

ameen...